Musings

Date A Girl Who Loves Solitude

Date a girl who loves solitude. Yes, you heard it right! I am asking you to date a girl who loves to spend more time with herself than with her friends and acquaintances.

Before you ask me the oh-so-obvious question that how do you date someone who likes to be alone, let me tell you that being fond of solitude doesn’t equal to being a loner. Neither does it translate to being egoistic or having an attitude. It just means such people need few hours in a day all for themselves to bring order to their chaotic thought process. Yes, retrospection (on self and everything else!) is sort of a daily ritual for solitary loving folks who otherwise lead a very normal social life just like other homo sapiens!

Well, dating such a person definitely implies that you will not get to meet her and spend time with her very often but when you finally do, you will realise that every moment is worth the months of endless waiting. She doesn’t believe in being connected all the time though the waste apps and fake books but she will make up on her nonchalance by calling you religiously every fortnight. She is mysterious because you can’t really pin her down either as an extrovert or an introvert. She defies every archetypal characteristic of a girl and yet, you will lose her in the milling crowd if you don’t keep an eye on her. She might not say much when out with a group but she will shock you with her non-stop chatter over a coffee. She loves talking only when she wants to and she is in a mood to. Yes, she is very moody and her mood tracks the changes in the phases of the moon though her best phase needn’t necessarily coincide with the full moon.

She is bound to be a book worm because she loves to have silent conversations, with all the action happening inside her head. Don’t try asking her for a review on the book because you will never understand the weird connections she will come up with and you might end up discarding a good book as worthless. She is fond of writing, especially poetry. Because her random thoughts can only take abstract forms some of which will cease to make any sense after a few weeks, even to her! Observe her when she does those little things which make up her world like sharpening a pencil neatly, marking her novels with her name and date, brewing coffee without spilling a drop of milk on the kitchen slab… It is very unlikely that you will get many chances to witness her doing these mundane things because this is when the introspection usually happens. So, if you do catch her going about a daily routine without noticing your presence, stand back and do nothing. Just watch her. You might be able to demystify, not completely though, the enigma swirling the decoction in front of your eyes.

There will be times, more often than not, when she will go into a trance and stare far away into the oblivion. She can stay up like that for hours, static and immovable like a statue, immersed without any care in the world. Suddenly, her eyes will light up and her lips will curls into a heavenly smile for reasons beyond your comprehension. You will be very anxious to know what exactly is going in her mind but don’t ask her because you would be disappointed with her answer which will just consist of a whispering ‘Nothing…’ You might get irritated initially but if you hold on to your apprehensions for long enough, you will realise that her silence is just another inner conversation with her soul and nothing else. Her first love is not a third person. It is she, herself, with whom she spends her special moments. Sipping coffee alone at one corner in a cafe, sitting by the balcony oblivious of the world around her, looking out of the bus window without blinking her eyelids – you will know who is she with.

Date a girl who loves solitude. Because she will make you fall in love with yourself before you can fall in love with her.

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